“God isn’t talking to you, those are called thoughts.”
- Bill Maher -
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.'”
- Bill Maher -
“Why can’t God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It’s the same reason the comic book character can’t get rid of his nemesis; then there’s no story.”
- Bill Maher -
“”Ha, we’re changing Operation Iraqi Freedom to Operation New Dawn – sounds like a Twilight movie – we’re not occupiers, we’re sexy vampires!”
- Bill Maher -
“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”
- Bill Maher -
“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?”
- Bill Maher -
“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
- Bill Maher -
“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”
- Bill Maher -
“There was a revolution in the Arab country of Tunisia. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it’s the name of one of Obama’s kids”
- Bill Maher -
“Religion is insanity by consensus.”
- Bill Maher -
“I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.”
- Bill Maher -
“Is it just me or does Times Square look like Tokyo now?”
- Bill Maher -
“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”
- Bill Maher -
“The battle for good health is won on the cellular level”
- Bill Maher -
“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”
- Bill Maher -
“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”
- Bill Maher -
“The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.”
- Bill Maher -
“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”
- Bill Maher -
“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”
- Bill Maher -
“Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.”
- Bill Maher -