HBO Real Time Guests: Friday, Jan. 29, 2021

Friday, January 29, 2021 at 10 pm
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Schedule

BILL MAHER COMEDY TOUR

April 10, 2021
Sat • 8 pm
Meridian Hall - CANCELED
Toronto, ON
Refund Tickets
April 24, 2021
Sat • 7 pm
Eccles Theater
Salt Lake City, UT
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April 25, 2021
Sun • 8 pm
Queen Elizabeth Theatre - CANCELED
Vancouver, BC
Refund Tickets
May 28, 2021
Fri • 8 pm
Borgata Event Center
Atlantic City, NJ
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June 12, 2021
Sat • 8 pm
Kravis Center
West Palm Beach, FL
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View More Scheduled Dates
“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”

- Bill Maher -

“Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what is ruining this country.”

- Bill Maher -

“Sarah Palin finally heard what happened to Japan and she’s demanding that we invade Tsunami.”

- Bill Maher -

“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? “

- Bill Maher -

“I believe in the death penalty, but with better DNA testing – my slogan is ‘Let’s Kill The right People'”

- Bill Maher -

“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”

- Bill Maher -

“The battle for good health is won on the cellular level”

- Bill Maher -

“Over half of Republicans believe in Creationism – for those too young to recall, they didn’t used to be the party of ignorance-what happened?”

- Bill Maher -

“The countries that have the money to offer large cash awards to the families of suicide bombers, or to send little boys to madrasah’s, the prep schools of hate, are getting that money from people using lots of oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“It’s amazing, the world now has more oil than it has places to store it. Even Don Jr.’s hair is at capacity.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“If everyone likes you, you have never said anything true. Anytime you speak the truth, some people are going to hate you.”

- Bill Maher -

“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”

- Bill Maher -

“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”

- Bill Maher -

“Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – ‘Dancing with the Stars’, and now prison, somebody must tell him: there are easier ways to have sex with men.”

- Bill Maher -

“Trump rides the bus with Billy Bush and we throw Al Franken under it.”

- Bill Maher -

“Sarah Palin on her Facebook page said she still believes in death panels. You know what, Sarah, if we were going to get rid of useless people, you would be the first to know.”

- Bill Maher -