HBO Real Time Nov. 14th

“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”

- Bill Maher -

“When you tolerate intolerance, you are not really being a liberal.”

- Bill Maher -

“Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers to think that they do.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Real Axis of Evil in America is the Genius of our marketing and the gullibility of our people”

- Bill Maher -

“I believe in the death penalty, but with better DNA testing – my slogan is ‘Let’s Kill The right People'”

- Bill Maher -

“To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.”

- Bill Maher -

“The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.”

- Bill Maher -

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

- Bill Maher -

“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”

- Bill Maher -

“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”

- Bill Maher -

“Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.”

- Bill Maher -

“Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.”

- Bill Maher -

“Isn’t the problem that almost all Republicans are conservative, but not all Democrats are liberal?”

- Bill Maher -

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“The countries that have the money to offer large cash awards to the families of suicide bombers, or to send little boys to madrasah’s, the prep schools of hate, are getting that money from people using lots of oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“Why do people act shocked whenever NASCAR drivers get into an accident what?! No! One minute he’s flying around an oil-slicked track at 200 mph, and the next minute: gone!”

- Bill Maher -

All religion is just an opinion.

- Bill Maher -

“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?”

- Bill Maher -